Starting Again After Addiction Relapse

Learning to Cherish Recovery

“I cherished the program. Cedar House to me is sacred ground because it’s where I first learned the 12 Steps and the Serenity Prayer.”

For Jerry, Cedar House became more than a treatment program. It became the place where recovery first started to feel possible.

His story includes years of addiction, crime, homelessness, relapse, incarceration, custody battles, and painful losses. But it also includes treatment, faith, family healing, stable housing, and the decision to keep coming back to recovery even after setbacks.

Jerry’s story is a reminder that relapse does not have to be the end. Sometimes, recovery is built through returning, recommitting, and finally choosing a different life.

Early Substance Use and the Start of Addiction

Jerry’s substance use began when he was 15 years old.

He started spending time with a group of older guys who used him to buy beer because he looked older than he was. They invited him to party with them, convinced him to drink beer, and encouraged him to try marijuana.

Although it made him sick, Jerry remembered the overwhelming feeling of being high for the first time.

He said:

“It was a classic, textbook case. It had a snowball effect.”

After marijuana, Jerry began using cocaine. From there, his addiction became closely tied to the criminal justice system.

He said:

“To sum it up, I was a tore-up drug addict.”

Every time Jerry got into trouble with the law, it was connected to his need to get more drugs or alcohol.

Years in and Out of Prison

By the time Jerry turned 40, he had spent much of his adult life in and out of prison.

Eventually, the court system allowed him to move into a program called His House. There, he began waking up at 5:30 each morning, drinking coffee, praying, and reading self-help books with other clients.

Although he was still technically in custody, something began to change.

Jerry started wanting a real change in his life.

The Department of Corrections later moved him to Cedar House for residential treatment. After 25 years, Jerry was finally sober.

Building a Foundation at Cedar House

At Cedar House, Jerry and four new friends continued their early morning routine.

They prayed, read, asked questions, and learned more about recovery. The more Jerry learned, the more he wanted to understand. He often stopped staff in the hallway to ask for guidance and deepen his understanding of the recovery process.

Cedar House helped Jerry build an early foundation in the 12 Steps, the Serenity Prayer, and a new way of thinking about addiction and recovery.

For the first time in many years, sobriety felt possible.

Relapse During a Family Crisis

After five and a half months of sobriety, Jerry relapsed.

His mother had a stroke and was hospitalized. His case manager took him to see her and reviewed the 12 Steps with him on the drive.

A few days later, Jerry went with his cousin and stayed overnight near his mother. Because he was still in court custody at the time, he was not allowed to return to Cedar House afterward.

He stayed by his mother’s side for another week.

But the stress, fear, and lack of structure became overwhelming. Jerry drank again, and the snowball effect started over.

Returning to Substance Use

After that relapse, Jerry’s substance use escalated again.

He moved from smoking crack to using meth, and at times used both. This led to dangerous behavior, hallucinations, and more instability.

Four years later, in 2015, Jerry was arrested again.

This time, he asked to return to Cedar House.

He said:

“They had really impressed me. They got me sober. I knew the info they gave me was real. It was life changing.”

Even after relapse, Jerry remembered what he had learned. He knew Cedar House had helped him before, and he wanted another chance.

Choosing Recovery Again

During his experience with mental health court and sober living, Jerry had time to think honestly about his life.

He was 49 years old and knew he could lose everything if he did not fully commit to recovery.

When counselors at court told him his first 90 days would be at Cedar House, he perked up.

He was ready to try again.

Reading, Meetings, and a New Sponsor

While waiting for intake in the Cedar House lobby, Jerry noticed another client looking at him. That man later became his roommate.

At night, Jerry would try to leave the door open just enough to read the Big Book by a sliver of light. His roommate would tell him to close the door so everyone could sleep.

Jerry said:

“The Big Book became my bible. I went to groups, worked out, read the Big Book, and asked questions.”

Instead of arguing with his roommate, Jerry began bringing the book into the bathroom to read at night.

That routine helped him stay focused on recovery. Over time, that same roommate became his sponsor, and the two stayed close for years.

After 90 days, Jerry moved into sober living and continued attending Sunday night meetings and panels until 2018.

Facing Loss and Custody Battles

In 2018, Jerry’s mother passed away.

Around that time, he had regained custody of his children. But after relapsing again, his children were taken back into the system.

That loss hit him hard.

He said:

“I was crumbling. By the grace of God, I realized I was going to lose everything. I realized if I keep drinking and using, my kids will stay in the system.”

Jerry understood that his recovery was no longer only about him. His choices affected his children, his family, and the future he wanted to build.

He said:

“I had to take a deep breath and deal with the disappointment of relapse.”

A New Commitment to Sobriety

On December 29, 2019, Jerry committed himself once again to recovery.

He thought back to everything Cedar House staff had taught him. He remembered the guidance he received and the conversations that had stayed with him.

He said:

“I remember everything they said. I would call and talk to Mike. Every time he told me something, it rang true or eventually it would come true.”

This time, Jerry kept going.

Family Healing and a New Purpose

Today, Jerry is proud of everything he learned at Cedar House.

He has been able to mend relationships with his family. With help from Step Up, Jerry and his son are now in stable housing.

He has four years of sobriety and has earned his certified peer support license so he can help others on their own path to recovery.

Jerry’s recovery has become more than staying sober. It has become a way to give back.

Relapse Does Not Have to Be the End

Jerry’s story shows how complicated recovery can be.

It can include treatment, relapse, grief, custody battles, court involvement, sober living, family healing, and trying again after disappointment.

But it also shows that lasting change is possible.

Recovery is not always a straight line. For many people, it takes more than one attempt, more than one turning point, and more than one moment of surrender. What matters is continuing to reach for help and refusing to let relapse become the final chapter.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, relapse, incarceration, homelessness, or family separation, Cedar House can help you understand your options and take the next step.

Call 840-900-1004 to speak with someone about treatment and recovery support.